Richard Allen

Extreme Male Brain

A Clearwater Police Officer
was arrested Sunday after beating his wife
for refusing to engage in
. multiple regression analysis

The hypothesis was based on
sexual behaviour involving
.“empathizers” (feeling of concern
This account has been suspended

Mary was shocked at first
Without telling her, I talked all my friends with their wives to
become more tolerant of the
needs of the extreme male brain.

this distinction arises from
. islets of ability
individuals who are more extreme
all the best hot moments of our life

I haven’t left out the girls
. the unbalanced conditions of being an extreme female
A 17-year-old woman who last year admitted
.a manifestation of being

not the primary logic
.the logic here implies
a source of continual fascination,
whether you’re doing it or just thinking about it.

the British psychologist’s unique
festival of science
One can envisage
young adults in various stages of undress

The female brain is predominantly hard-wired
You may have more of a male brain
young adults frolicking in a river
The future is today

male groups outperformed the women
in a large warehouse
Highly masculinised male faces
I am, indeed, painting an extreme portrait

College girls getting drunk
will have even the straightest men question
Why women can’t read
the gay environs

Boys’ brains grow more quickly than
the acceptance
& legal protection of
Material Inappropriate For Children Or Adults

School nurses warn parents of new fad called
an Emotional Midget With a
Fear of Meeting Real People
and Having Contempt for Women

Impotence and frigidity
cigarette consumption
impaired empathizing and enhanced systemizing
Let the data speak for themselves.



Things had been going swimmingly
with all kinds of intriguing affinities cropping up.
Foreign Investment
Russian gas supplies

This is probably going to sound ridiculous
a wild and crazy game that needs a few rules
some ladies set tougher rules than others
the Sale of Murder Memorabilia

It’s really hard to put deal-breakers into words.
I need to pay more attention
to that gut instinct that I believe we all have
The non-negotiable factors
in finding the Right One.

Even the most experienced cooks
have an ingredient, technique or phrase
that will make them bypass a recipe.

Do you judge people by the books they read?
a haunting tale of betrayal
actually the very first novel
we are cringing as we type this.

A guy who wears a vest
Would it kill that guy to have a shower?
senators from former Confederate states
If you have a blog

Dishonesty and infidelity
pop-culture preferences
Latin scholar
stole $400 in rolled quarters
threat to file a lawsuit

Chronic bad breath,
failure-to-launch syndrome,
weird roommates,
bad taste in clothes
one of those Sphynx cats (completely bald)

Don’t get married without knowing your future spouse’s thoughts
on these issues that can kill a marriage.
Or as I see it, hell on earth.
Hey, you’re great, but it’s just not worth this.

This is a book about men.
Not all men, just emotionally unhealthy men.
Is it him or is it me?
a delicate transaction
What Makes a Man Run Away

I was miserably alone in my mid-30s
I’ve had quite a few first kisses.
They are always exciting and romantic
I want my news snarky and mixed

I was reading a recipe for apple strudel
when I came to a sentence that stopped me cold:

In our free trade gone-wild world,
property rights are being applied
in areas where they have never before existed.



Richard Allen is a poet and essayist in North Carolina. His work has been recently published in New Ohio Review and Makeout Creek.